Free writing at #livebloggingparty with @AnneHendler

I’m thinking of…

 

 

… a beach. This beach is long and stretches all the way into the horizon. It’s wide and deserted. It’s not a bay but an open coastline, so waves come crashing at their own good times, there really is no way you can get away from the powerful sound of the waters here. The other side of the wide sandy beach line is framed with the green, fresh and pine. Green hills slightly clouded by a bluish mist are on that other part of the horizon, facing the azure of the ocean.

There’s an occasional couple or a family to be seen here and there, as well as those seeking their solitude. It’s not hot, you actually have to be wearing jeans, jacket and sneakers to feel comfortable, though the sun is really bright and you wish you had your sunglasses on. It’s breezy enough but somehow there’s no disturbing feeling about it. The beach is in a city, so you can easily imagine it crowded at the weekends. Now it’s weekday daytime. Perfect time for a stroll.

This is what I’m seeing right now. This is what I’m experiencing. This might actually be My Perfect Beach. And I’m thinking of finally writing down and getting out what I’ve had imprinted in the back of my mind for 20 years, what I’ve told at least 4 people here in Korea about, something that has now gained enough strength to show up from the deep corners and is not afraid to grow.

 

my fav pic ever

 

This not-so-secret “something” is about the beach.

 

I don’t see how I could possibly write anything other than ultimately personal from a place like this. I see myself coming to such quiet beach on my own, sitting down facing the water, which would be coming as close as only 3 meters from reaching my feet in its mighty tidal wave. I cannot picture myself writing down pretentious lines from this place. I can, though, imagine I would yield to letting go of barriers that keep my mind (and language, as a consequence) think in terms of limits. I can imagine I would write my heart out, because it’s being called out from a source more demanding an honest answer than that of a promise to myself, a resolution “to write”, or a blog post title and notes in drafts.

 

So I used to think I can’t write from anywhere else rather than my desk in Moscow, at any time other than comfortable, safe and lonely nighttime. Apparently I’ve been proven wrong, by this beach, this day, and this ocean, as this post is just writing itself.

 

This place makes me think of other things, too.

It makes me think of just how many beaches I haven’t seen, and how few (and awful as in touristy) those I have seen are.
It makes me think again of how lucky I am to have found out I enjoy being on my own (and that I can bravely enough openly state it here).
It makes me think it’s relatively easy to live with no strings attached, or to cut those strings, in order to indulge yourself in what it is your soul is asking for. Or at least to go looking for it.

 

My perfect walk on a beach is a walk I make on my own, all the way along, stopping where I want to, staring at the sand, seashells, masses of water that I’m actually so scared of. This walk gives me a chance to stare into those parts of my Self, which so easily get neglected and underrated in the busy city routine.

 

I am thinking of a beach and what my life would be like in a place like that.

I’m thinking of a change to make.

 

*****
I’m grateful to Anne Hendler for several things: (1) for letting me spend the whole day with her and her students; (2) for the sweet tangerines; (3) for the attitude towards students I have yet to learn; (4) for showing me the wonderful, special beach and in this way  helping me (maybe unknowingly) find the right mood and enough courage to write this blog post. It is as different as my writing could ever get in this space. It is as personal as I can possibly make it. It is quite scary to hit “publish” right now, several hours after writing it from that rocking bench on that fantastic beach in Gangneung, too. But long live #livebloggingparty 🙂 I can hit “publish” now as I’m not alone.
Thanks, Anne!

IMG_0832.JPG

*****
Thank you for reading. Here you can read Anne’s post written on that beach.

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13 thoughts on “Free writing at #livebloggingparty with @AnneHendler

  1. Thank you, my friend, for spending the day here with me and seeing my classes in a way that I can’t. Thank you for your openness and friendship.

    Your post is so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself.

    • annloseva says:

      Thank you, Anne, those things and others, and for opening up the space for me to share this piece of myself. I’m glad to have to spelt out here now, and with the picture you took. Perfect capture of the moment.

      I want to blog about my day at your school! I hope I’ll do it, but you never know.

  2. Hana Tichá says:

    I read the post yesterday. I came back to it again today to get exposed to the calm and peace radiating from the description. I wanted to feel the warm serenity which I sometimes lack on these chilly, foggy autumn days. Thanks …

    • annloseva says:

      I doubly thank you, Hana! I’m so glad that post wrote itself on that beach and I snatched the moment. Now I know it’ll be here for me whenever I need to remember the feelings and/ or be reminded of the important thing.

  3. Lines that hit my heart:

    so waves come crashing at their own good times

    something that has now gained enough strength to show up from the deep corners and is not afraid to grow.

    I can, though, imagine I would yield to letting go of barriers that keep my mind (and language, as a consequence) think in terms of limits.

    it’s being called out from a source more demanding an honest answer than that of a promise to myself

    and that I can bravely enough openly state it here)

    It makes me think it’s relatively easy to live with no strings attached, or to cut those strings, in order to indulge yourself in what it is your soul is asking for. Or at least to go looking for it.

    They hit my heart because they came from yours. Keep writing. Keep wandering. Keep following your heart.

    Grateful for your friendship dear friend. Grateful for your exploration because it encourages me to keep on exploring too.

  4. swisssirja says:

    Dear Anne,
    What a powerful piece pf writing! I could really feel you typing these thoughts onto the keyboard, raising your head from time to time to stare at the mass of water and wait for the right words to find the matching sensations. And you know what, I’m So happy! This post made me happy. It made me realize once again how much i love to write and ponder and sit on a beach.

    Hugs to you and Anne all the way to Korea.
    Enjoy your journey ( all the journeys 🙂

    Take care

    • annloseva says:

      Dear Sirja,

      What a heartwarming comment! Thank you. I have no memory now of how scary it was to publish this (as it is too personal and nowhere near ELT), all I know is that it made me happy in many ways. One of those ways was that I received these great comments and people thought about something for themselves. Beaches, writing, contemplating – I am inspired and feeling grateful.
      Thank you!

      Big hugs!

  5. paulreaduk says:

    Hi Ann, thanks for writing this. As someone who absolutely loves walking on beaches alone, it struck a chord and made me write a little ramble over on my blog. You are welcome to come and visit it, as long as you promise not to bring too many people and confuse my introverted sensibilities 🙂

    • annloseva says:

      Hi Paul, that ramble of yours is the best effect I could ever imagine my post would have. Thank you! It set the tone to my whole day yesterday.

  6. […] getting emotional on a beach in South Korea on a nice October day in 2014, which led me to writing this post. The beaches in Osaka and Kobe took my breath away in an almost similar way. They reminded me of […]

  7. […] post is the result of some musings that were inspired by a single line in one of Ann Loseva’s posts recently, where she described being on a […]

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