Do you have any?
There are words that are BIG. Whatever it is that inflates them (read: social media buzz) doesn’t often help in figuring out the true meanings. In fact, the hype seems to distract from the real depth and lessen the importance. It is a little confusing, especially if the word lures and the concept is enticing, in the way my imagination defines it.
This word I’m talking about now is mentoring.
I’ve recently taken a keen interest in the idea and planned a couple of opportunities for myself to experience mentoring. An interesting flash of a thought at the back of my mind: three years ago I would get all excited and jump into it without a second thought, without preparation. Learn by doing. Learn from the experiences themselves and mistakes that inevitably come with. I chuckled thinking of the way my methods changed. I pace myself now. If I get to do it, I thought, I want to do it “right”.
Now here’s the thing… what is “right”?
Maybe to start with, it’d be useful to define a mentor, and I want to define not from a dictionary but from my heart. For me, a mentor is a person who supports, listens, helps to reflect, inspires, challenges you, ideally shares beliefs. Gently, in a non-intrusive kind of way, offers a vision that makes sense for you. They are people you respect and feel comfortable talking to about what bothers you, honestly and not necessarily openly seeking guidance or advice (though you know they have what you need). I haven’t had a mentor assigned to me by a program or through an institution, yet it’d be a lie to say I haven’t had mentors. There are a few people I consider to be my mentors but, frankly speaking, I don’t recall ever saying it to them… So maybe they don’t know. I can’t say we ever went through a process of mentoring that started and ended. So probably my view is distorted, over-romanticised, idealized. Can I trust it? Am I crazy (and arrogant!) to think I could be a mentor to anyone, given my own definition?
What am I saying?… I feel lost. Because I want and feel the need to support and listen and help to reflect, I want to have more clarity on what mentoring is or can be. On what a mentor is and what the relationship involves. On how it starts and if it ever finishes. On how it’s organized. On what happens if two people just don’t click. And I think stories that I’m sure other people have might be just what I need to get that clarity.
So, do you have any #ELTmentor stories? Successful or not so much, stories where you were the mentor or the mentee, for a specific period of time, project or otherwise. I hope you can share some of your stories with me – and anyone else who is interested – in the comments to this post, in the comments on Facebook, or on your own blog.
Thank you for those and for reading, as ever.